Monday, July 11, 2005

Kaohsiung Driver's Education

So I attended the self-taught driver's education course in Taiwan yesterday. The curriculum is as follows:

-Put on your cool pink helmet and feel like a real scooter driver
-Get on your scooter
-Try to start your scooter
-Realize that you don't know how to start your scooter
-Try again
-Finally figure out that you have to hold your brakes while starting your scooter
-Attempt to make it up the ramp out of the parking garage on your scooter
-Be mocked by the security guard as you run into the walls on either side of the ramp of the parking garage
-Finally get up the ramp and take a deep breath, wondering whether or not you should just give up now
-Decide that you are going to learn to ride this scooter no matter what
-Take a fairly successful test drive down the hill
-Realize that you don't know how to turn around without tipping your scooter over
-Spend twenty minutes in the parking lot practicing turns and hoping you don't die
-Decide that if you have to ride this dumb thing, you'd better just try
-Drive around on back roads hoping no cars come, because it really freaks you out
-Understand that you must talk to yourself, saying things like "BE COOL!! YOU'RE JUST FINE!! JUST LET THE CARS PASS YOU!!!"
-Accidentally end up on a busy road with lots of traffic, and try not to curse as people cut you off and try to run you over
-Attempt not to fall into the open sewers that are immediately after the ledge at the end of the road
-Make it back home somehow, even though you swore you were lost
-Drive your bike back into the parking garage and park it like a pro
-Carry your pink helmet back up to your apartment feeling the camraderie of all the other cool scooter drivers, and knowing that you are the only one here who really knows how to drive.

The fees are pretty good for this class, and the class sizes small.....not recommended for the faint of heart.
-

6 Comments:

At 7:17 PM, Blogger Travis said...

Yeah...you got to watch out for the open sewers. Mission lore is full of unsuspecting Elders falling in them. Glad I never did that.

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger Melanie said...

Hilarious post! Wish I would have been there to watch. What is shopping like there? Do they have any of the same stores? Do they dress like Americans or is it a different style? What about grocery stores? What do you cook? How are the prices? Keep in touch, we love the stories.

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Nanci said...

Ha!! I only wish I could have been there to see that! By the time you get home you'll be a scooter pro! I'm jealous I want one:)
Anyway, watch out for the sewers, and don't get hit by any cars! We love you.

 
At 6:37 AM, Blogger Dan said...

Great post. Please be careful on those scooters. Does this mean you have a scooter and a car? Can the scooter fit in the trunk of the car. That sounds safer to me. Thanks forthe hilarious post. Glad to hear of your experiences.

 
At 8:26 PM, Blogger Krista said...

We have a scooter and a car...unfortunately the scooter does not fit in the trunk of the car. Hopefully we won't have to drive it during rush hour in the city at all, or else we might die!!!

 
At 11:10 AM, Blogger Travis said...

Have you seen anyone trying to fit more than 2 people on one of those scooters? I saw a whole family of 4 once.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home